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Post by poodlepal on Apr 20, 2012 18:18:06 GMT -5
At the Seoul Library: Shallow: Sis, why are we at the Seoul library?
Witchy: I'm looking up books on floor design. I am going to win that design contest and also the heart of Wah-Bo!
Shallow: Yung-Li, just forget him. Oma is right. You blew it. Find somebody else.
Witchy: No! I will never find somebody else. I'm going to get him back, and I'm going to destroy that perky orphan girl, Jun-park.
Shallow: What did she do?
Witchy: She brought that baby to my wedding and ruined it for me. If she hadn't had that baby, I'd be married and living in a house with gilt furniture and a staircase with 10 steps. Why, I'd have a marble table with a runner down the middle. And, I'd be sleeping in a bed, in a room with a built-in closet. I know exactly what that house would look like.
Shallow: I'd love a house like that. I'm going to the modeling section. I'm going to be a model.
Meanwhile. . . Younger son: What are you going to look up, Ok-kyung? Older son: I am going to take out a book on careers. I'm done with the seminary. Every time I try to do a wedding, christening or take confession, something happens. I guess I'm not meant to be a hospital chaplain after all.
Younger son: That's a good idea. If I weren't dying of kidney disease, I would start a humble shop that served healthy foods to all of Korea. It's important to eat healthy foods. If you eat healthy foods, you will not gain weight. Your blood pressure will be lower, as will your cholesterol.
Older: I didn't know that. That's fascinating. I'll be your delivery boy. But where will we get the money?
Younger: I co-signed a loan for my friend. When he pays me back with interest, we will use that money to open a stall and buy a delivery bike.
Older: I can't wait! I've always secretly wanted to be a delivery boy for a healthy food stand, serving healthy food to Koreans everywhere. Oh, look, there's that shallow girl.
Younger: Where!
Shallow: Yong-Son!
Younger: Sha-lo!
Shallow: You look so hot!
Younger: So do you!
Shallow: Let's go behind that stack of books.
Younger : OK! See ya, older brother.
Later. . . Older: Hail Mary, full of grace. . .our father, who art in heaven. . . YOunger: Would you stop with the rosary already? Older: I need to cleanse myself from what I witnessed behind those books. You held her in your arms! And kissed her on the cheek. Younger: I'm not celibate. Older: I need to hide my face in shame. And you should too. Let's bow our heads in prayer. Younger: All right. (As they are bowing, Perky walks right past them. They do not see her.)
Witchy: There's that perky orphan! Hey you! Over here! Perky: Yes, Yung-li? Witchy: Up on the roof, you! I have something to say to you that can only be said on a roof. Perky:Yes Witchy: You stay away from my rich ex-fiance. You go back to the States, or Russia, Thailand or India. Actually, I don't care where you go. But I'm warning you, if you don't take off, I won't forgive you.
To be continued: Split screen of horrified faces.
What do you think should happen? A. The friend doesn't pay back the money, and the humble Hong family must sell everything to save face and avoid being prosecuted by the bank
B. Shallow sister is impregnated by the Younger Son from their activity behind the book stack
C. Witchy steals Perky's floor design
D. All of the above
E. None of the above.
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Post by latina on Apr 21, 2012 18:58:25 GMT -5
letter B, hahahahahaah
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Post by Linda on Apr 21, 2012 22:20:41 GMT -5
D
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Post by door60 on Apr 22, 2012 18:24:21 GMT -5
Poodlepal, I finally got to read the last 3 -- you are so funny! The obvious answer is C, but maybe go for B to make it more like an American soap!
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Post by myoko on Apr 22, 2012 21:05:28 GMT -5
I want B and C to happen.
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Post by poodlepal on Apr 23, 2012 16:39:13 GMT -5
There seems to be a burnout on the"stupid guy losing everything to loansharks" plot. Actually, we haven't had one in a couple of shows, although it was a staple back in the mid 00's. OK, I'll be happy to skip that one myself.
Episode 12 Scene: Perky is sitting in her unfurnished room, working on a laptop on the floor. A flashback suddenly pops into her head.
Witchy: You stay away from my rich ex-fiance. You go back to the States, or Russia, Thailand or India. Actually, I don't care where you go. But I'm warning you, if you don't take off, I won't forgive you.
Perky: Boo hoo. I will have to quit to do the best thing for Rich Boy Wah-Bo. No! I won't quit! I will enter the design contest. And I'll win it. Boo-hoo. But I didn't go to floor design school. And I'm just a lowly orphan. No! I will enter the contest. I can do anything. I'm a perky orphan!
The next day: Rich Boy: And so, I have called this meeting of the entrants of the design contest.
Perky: (Bursts through door) Is it too late! Is it too late? Here's my design! It's in this looseleaf, all the floor tiles I designed, plus my application and my floor plan.
Evil CEO: Excuse me, this is a contest for professional floor designers, not dirt-poor orphans.
Man: Oh, let her enter. Evil CEO: Who are you?
Man: I'm the owner of the company, who's like a father to you.
Rich Boy: Honorary Grandpa, Oppa, how nice to see you again. You have to forgive Oma, she has a touch of amnesia from the Jejudo tsunami.
Perky: So do I! I can't remember a thing since then. Oh, thank you Kindly Businees Owner, for sticking up for the little guy or girl.
Evil CEO Mom: Hmm. You're too nice. Well, Perky Orphan, put your binder with the rest of those done by the professional floor designers. What's that noise? Is there a rat in the hall?
In the hall: Shallow: Do we have to enter this stupid contest? Your floor design sucks. All you did was cut out pictures from the Home Depot catalog and glue them onto a piece of paper.
Witchy: Shut up. Anyway, it was Lowe's.
Shallow: I'm going to go throw up in that ladies' room.
Witchy: Again? That's the fourth ladies' room on this floor alone.
Shallow: I must have eaten too much seaweed soup on my birthday.
Witchy: OK, everyone is leaving for lunch. Let's go in and find the best binder and replace all of their designs with mine.
Shallow: Won't they lock the door?
Witchy: You'd think so, but no. They're too stupid. Anyway, I never gave Wah-Bo his keys back.
IN the conference room: Shallow: These plans are all boring! Parquet floors, tile floors, marble floors--oh wait! Oh, this is brilliant. A special soft comfy tile in soothing colors for orphans to sleep on. And they're covered in fake Hello Kitties!
Witchy: Who did that? OMG! It's the design of Perky Orphan! I'll get that little creep. She'll be back to the States, India, or Russia in no time.
Shallow: Do you want to stop for some ribs on the way home?
Witchy: Not to change the subject or anything.
Rich Boy Enters Witchy! What are you doing here?
To Be Continued.
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Post by myoko on Apr 28, 2012 21:06:01 GMT -5
LOL Rich boy in the nick of time?
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Post by grace on Jun 14, 2012 17:10:31 GMT -5
Poodlepal...you have a knack for this...OMG...its really too funny! Are you continuing? This is better then whats showing on TV!...LOL...Thanks for the laugh.
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Post by poodlepal on Jun 16, 2012 11:17:30 GMT -5
Episode 42 Shallow Sister: Witchy, what have you been up to for the last 6 weeks?
Witchy: I've been working on my design for the flooring competition. I'm going to beat that Perky Orphan if it's the last thing I do, and win back my rich fiance. Also, take revenge on my gay ex-husband and get my daughter back, even though I never wanted her in the first place. What have you been up to?
Shallow: I've been vomiting and having cravings for goldfish cakes. I don't know why.
Witchy: I hope you haven't been staring soulfully in the eyes of a man. You know what happens when you do that. Shallow: No! Well, maybe. You don't think I'm pregnant, do you? I have a confession to make. Eight months ago I also stared soulfully in the eyes of the son of the younger brother of that humble family.
Witchy: Clearly, you are pregnant. Let me take out a tape measure. What are your normal measurements?
Shallow: 36, 24, 32.
Witchy: A-ha! You're now 37, 25. 33. You must be about to deliver.
Shallow: Oh no! Hey, don't we use centimeters in Korea?
Witchy: What ever! Oh, this is too good to be true. Now mother will love me more than you, finally. You'd better call your lover and tell him to get a job.
Meanwhile: Humble Mom: Why, oh why, is my son suffering from renal failure! Thank god my older son is here to give him last rites, since he was taken back by the seminary in the last 6 weeks.
Younger son: Don't worry, Mom. I'll write to you from heaven. Here comes my bro and his priest boss for my final confession.
Priest Boss: OK, Father. Take your brother's final confession while I prepare the holy water.
Younger son: OK, well, first I got drunk on soju and crashed my motorcycle into the gravestone of our ancestor. Oma and Opa will never forgive me, and either will God.
Older son (Priest): Of course He will.I give you absolution for drunk driving
YS: Then I stared soulfully in the eyes of the younger daughter of that pretentious family.
Priest Boss: Go on, give him absolution.
Older Priest Son: No! I won't forgive you! I won't forgive you!
Mom: Why, why! Boo-hoo-hoo. Oh my God, I'm fainting. Help me! Help me!
Older Son: I won't forgive you!
Younger son: Opa, I'm dying! Stop hitting me!
Priest: That's it! You're expelled from the seminary. I won't forgive you, my foot.
Opa: Pull that IV out of your arm and let's go home. If you want to die, you can die on the floor like everyone else.
Shallow Sister: Ya-bo! I've come to visit you in the hospital.
Younger son: Ya-bo, your waist is 25 inches or 50 something centimeters. Are you. . .
To be continued
On the next episode: Evil Mother: For six weeks I've done nothing but stew over that Perky Orphan from a low-class background and how she's used her arts on you.
Rich Boy: Don't worry. She's not my slave any more, she started her own rug company, where she works 24 hours a day for no salary. However, I've been secretly meeting her to have a merger of our floors and her rugs. ------------------------------ Perky: Every time I lift up a rug to deliver it, you're wrapped in it, Witchy.
Witchy: I need to speak to you.
Perky: You speak to me every day. I know exactly what you're going to say. Stay away from Rich Boy.
Witchy: Yes, but this time I'm saying it on the roof.
Sad Music. . .
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Post by grace on Jun 16, 2012 17:53:13 GMT -5
Your in good form Poodlepal, thanks for the laugh. Love the measurements.....
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Post by Linda on Jun 16, 2012 22:58:58 GMT -5
Good to see an update, thanks!
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Post by poodlepal on Jul 29, 2012 18:07:13 GMT -5
Grand Finale: Part 1 The Day of the Floor Design Competition:
Perky: Finally, it’s my chance to show the floor design community what I can do. I have all my floor designs on this black laptop.
Perky’s Friend: Gee, do you think you’ll win?
Perky: Well, all the previous winners of contests have been orphans of some sort. Of all contests. Cooking, kitchen design, illustrating--no matter, they’re won by a perky orphan!
PF: Go, Perky.
Perky: I have to go to the bathroom. Let me put my black laptop down. . .
Meanwhile:
Witchy: A-ha! I finally finished my design. See? It’s on my laptop.
Shallow Sister: That’s awful. You can’t draw at all. You should go back to your gay ex-husband and see if he can revive your figure skating career. Maybe you could spend time with the daughter you deny having as well.
Witchy: I told you never to mention them again. No, the only person I’m going to marry is rich boy, and the only child I will have is his. He’ll marry me after I win the contest.
Shallow: Ow!
Witchy: What’s wrong.
Shallow: I don’t know. I got a terrible pain down the bottom of abdomen.
Witchy: Why don’t you loosen the belt off of your 24 inch waist?
Shallow: That’s a good idea. Ahh. That’s better. Oh no! There’s a bunch of water coming out of me, what is it? I don’t feel like I’m going to the bathroom.
Witchy: It’s probably diarrhea.
Shallow: Ew! No, it’s not coming from there---ow!
Witchy: Well, try to control yourself.
Shallow: I can’t. I’m in pain. Help me!
Witchy: Oh, all right. Let me put my laptop down and I’ll find someone to carry you to the hospital on their back.
Meanwhile:
Rich Boy’s Dad, owner of the flooring company: I had to take out a loan to buy the materials for the new plant in Incheon.
Evil CEO Lady: So you went to the bank right?
RBD: No, of course not. I found a man with a black shirt and white tie carrying a violin case. He loaned me the money. The bank? What’s that?
Evil CEO: You idiot! He’s a loan shark! Here he comes now!
Loan Shark: All right, you have my 1000% interest?
RBD: You never said anything about 1000% interest!
Loan Shark: You idiot. I’m a loan shark. You didn’t see this coming? Anyway, since you put up the company as collateral, I own it now! Hahahahahahahaha!
Witchy: Help me, former future in-laws. My sister needs to be carried to the hospital on someone’s back.
Evil CEO: Why don’t you call the ambulance?
Witchy: What’s that!? Help me, she needs to be carried.
Loan Shark: I bet she’s not a hottie like you.
Witchy: Thank you. I try to work out 10 hours a day and I spend all my money on plastic surgery.
Loan Shark: It shows. I’m the new owner of the company, by the way. What is it you make again? Well, it doesn’t matter, I’m probably going to turn it into a nightclub, either a legal one or a brothel.
Witchy: You own the company now? Wow, you’re a hottie yourself.
Loan Shark: It’s all my money, Babe. Plus my suspicious little moustache. Come on, I’ll carry your sister to the hospital. There’s a nurse there that owes me some money.
Witchy: Let me grab my laptop. Hey, maybe we can elope at the hospital chapel when we get there.
Loan shark: Why not? My brother had an arranged marriage and he only knew his wife 5 minutes. By the time we get to the hospital, it’ll be at least 10 for us.
Witchy: I was married before, though.
Loan Shark: Yeah? Does he need a loan?
To be continued.
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Post by poodlepal on Jul 29, 2012 18:07:46 GMT -5
Grand Finale, Part 2 At the hospital:
Humble Mom: Oh, my son’s kidneys have finally failed. He has only a week to live.
Younger Son: Don’t feel bad, Oma. You could send me to the orphanage if you want. Then you won’t know the pain of losing a child.
Humble Mom: If only I could. You’re all grown, though. Where is your sister? We should tell her so she can come to the funeral.
Older Son: Um, um, um. . . hey, do you want last rites? Or to do a confession?
Younger Son: Nah, I don’t think so. I feel like I’m going through a tunnel. I see her! I see our sister.
Humble Dad: Oh, oh! He’s really leaving us. He sees his sister.
Humble Mom: I don’t see her. Oh, there she is! Well, long time, no see, Sis. Nice of you to ignore your mother for five years.
Older Son: Oma, that’s not our sister. That’s a volunteer candy striper.
Perky: My name is Perky Orphan. I just came to do my volunteer job while I wait for results of a flooring contest. It may take a while, because the owner of the company is being beaten by thugs.
Older: See? That’s not our sister.
Mom: Of course it is. I know my own daughter. What have you been doing since the tsunami in Jejudo?
Perky: How did you know about that? Well, I lost my memory, but after I graduated from the orphanage I went to America, and now I’m trying to become a floor designer.
Dad: Wait a minute? You got amnesia from a storm in Jejudo?
Perky: Technically, a tsunami is caused by seismic events. But yeah.
Older: Could it really be? That is a miracle of God.
Dad: You’re not an orphan! You’re our long, lost daughter!
Mom: Come home with us, and live in our small home with a courtyard! We have a room with a floor for you to sleep on!
Perky: Oma! Opa! Brothers! It’s all coming back to me now! What’s wrong with him?
Mom: He’s dying. He needs a kidney, but none of us have the right 6 antigens to make a match. Perky, do you think. . .
Perky: Say no more. Doctor!
Meanwhile:
Tacky Mom: How did you get pregnant!
Shallow: I don’t know. How does anyone get pregnant?
Tacky: You must have done something.
Loan Shark: Listen, don’t worry about it. You’ll be fine as long as you have a mini-van. I can give you a car loan even with your lousy credit rating.
Tacky: Who is he?
Witchy: He’s my new husband. We just eloped. Forget about Rich Boy. He’s poor now anyway.
Tacky: You married a loan shark? Why, why did Buddha send me daughters like this? Doctor, doctor!
Doctor: What? I just finished performing a kidney transplant. The nurse will call me when she’s dilated.
Tacky: I want you to tell her the baby died and then give it away. Give it to her sister, she’s married.
Shallow: Oma, you have to plan that when I’m unconscious. Can’t you do anything right?
Witchy: I don’t want any children. I already have a daughter I don’t have custody of.
Loan Shark: We should go to Vegas. I know how to cheat the slot machines.
Tacky: Whatever. She can’t have a baby! She’s not married! Send it to the orphanage!
Loan Shark: Who is the father of this baby?
Shallow: He’s dead. Or he will be soon. He’s dying of kidney failure. See? This is a picture of him on my cell phone.
Doctor: Oh no, he just had a transplant. He’s not dying any more. As long as he doesn’t reject it, he’ll be fine. As soon as he wakes up, we’ll roll you down to the chapel and you can get married.
Tacky: Wake him now. This baby cannot be illegitimate.
Doctor: OK, I’ll splash some water on his face. That should do it.
A few minutes later:
Older Son: I now pronounce you husband and wife. How did I do?
Priest: Good work. You may never be able to take confessions, but you do a nice wedding ceremony, especially when the couple and one of their witnesses are on gurneys.
Shallow: Aaah! The baby is coming!
Younger Son: Oh! My meds are wearing off.
Perky: I’m so happy to be with my family, I hardly notice my incredible pain from major surgery a few minutes ago.
Doctor: It’s time to roll this gurney up and deliver this baby!
Loan Shark: I know! I’ll turn that floor company into a casino.
Perky: Don’t you dare change that floor company. I will run it! I would have won the floor design contest if it hadn’t been canceled. I know how to run a floor company. I won’t even take a salary! I will earn you more money than you will ever make as a loan shark.
Loan Shark: Well, all right. Let me see your floor designs on your laptop--oh dear, these stink.
Perky: Those aren’t my designs.
Witchy: Those are mine. I switched the laptops so I could win the contest and marry Rich Boy.
Loan Shark: Nice scheme. But who’s he?
Witchy: He’s nobody since I met you. I love you. The minute I saw your fedora and pinstriped suit, I knew. Let her have that boring company. We’ll travel the States going to all the best places where all the loan sharks go. Vegas, Atlantic City, the Mohegan Sun. . .
Loan Shark: These are truly awful. It’s a good thing you have that body, you’d never make it on your designs. Let me see these on the other computer. Well, they look OK to me. I mean, mostly I know about gambling and strippers more than floors. But they’re a lot better than those other ones. Well, I’ll tell that CEO the good news.
Witchy: I’d better go pack my bags. Oh, and Perky? Good luck with the mother CEO. I’d fire her if I were you.
Perky: I’ll never fire anyone. Or take a salary. I will be the best businesswoman ever!
Five Years Later--at the church Humble Mom: I can’t believe our daughter is finally getting married. Soon we’ll have our 7th grandchild.
Shallow: Why did I have 6 kids in 5 years?
Humble: Shut up, daughter-in-law. Stop staring soulfully in my son’s eyes if you don’t like being pregnant all the time.
Younger Son: That’s OK, Oma. Now that I have made a fortune delivering healthy lunches, we can have as many kids as we want. We all live together in that little house. Perky, why did you wait so long to marry Rich Boy?
Perky: For a long time I thought I’d never find a man I love as much as I love floors. Plus Witchy was right, I should’ve fired my future mother-in-law. But after I increased production by 12,000% and paid off the loan shark, she stopped locking me out in the cold, forcing me to step on dirty clothes in a bucket and allowed me to wear a sweater. So I finally agreed to marry Rich Boy.
Shallow: Here come my mother and sister and brother-in-law. They just got back from traveling around the States. And look, she brought her daughter with her, as well as her gay ex-husband and his husband. What are you guys doing here?
Gay Ex: I have no idea. They said we’re needed for a group photo, so here we are. Photographer: Everybody get in the group photo!
Group Photo.
The End.
Thank you for watching.
Starting Monday, the new drama “Dear My High Kick” will begin.
Now enjoy pictures of the cast and crew as you listen to the song for the last time!
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Post by myoko on Jul 29, 2012 21:49:10 GMT -5
Lmao this was simply brilliant poodlepal!
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Post by grace on Jul 30, 2012 8:27:29 GMT -5
"Perky: For a long time I thought I’d never find a man I love as much as I love floors."
LOL...the best line for me!! Cracked me up. Good job poodlepal...very funny and whats sad...a true rendition of a typical Korean drama.
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