|
Post by Linda on Mar 27, 2012 23:15:53 GMT -5
Hahaha, this is awesome.
|
|
|
Post by poodlepal on Mar 28, 2012 17:56:09 GMT -5
Thanks for the kind words. This is great relief from my real job! I'm loving every minute of it.
Episode 7 (I think)
Perky: Don't worry, kind orphan. I will take care of you! I, Perky, know what it is like to be an orphan! You will never suffer the cruel taunts that I did at the orphanage. Even though we are living in a one-room hovel with a gas ring and no furniture, I will protect you until your dying day! But first, I'd better get a job that actually pays, instead of just working as a slave to that Rich Boy. Despite being penniless, I have an expensive smart phone. I will call the steam room and ask if they need a boiled egg girl. . . . .Uh-huh. Uh-huh! Excellent. I'll start tomorrow. . . see, Orhpan? We are on our way.
Meanwhile. . . Evil CEO: So, Witchy, tell us again how you won't look soulfully into a man's eyes until your wedding day. Witchy: Well, I. . . what's that? Evil: What's what? Witchy: I thought I heard a baby crying. Tacky: Forget that baby, already. Tell Mrs. CEO about your virginity and morality. Witchy: Uh, yeah, so anyway (phone rings). Excuse me, I have to take this call. Gay-Ex: Hey, girlfriend! We got to Jejudo safely. How's our little baby doing? Witchy: Um, um. . .she's fine. Gay-Ex: She's not crying for her daddies? She's usually very fussy when we leave her with a new babysitter. Although, maybe she remembers you from the womb. Evil CEO: Who is that? You're old boyfriend? Shallow: No, it's her ex-husband. Evil: What! Tacky: Shallow! Shut your mouth. My daughter has a strange sense of humor, hahahahaha. Witchy, hang up. Gay-Ex: No, wait, I want to talk to Baby. Put her on. Witchy: I can't put her on. She's eating. I have to go. Evil CEO: Give the phone to me. I want to talk to whomever that is. Witchy: Ajumma, please. Evil: If you don't hand me the phone, the wedding is off.. . Hello, young man. What is your name, and why are you calling my future daughter-in-law? Gay-Ex: This is Witchy's. . . (BANG) Shallow: Oh My God! The cell tower was just struck by lightning!
The Next Day: Tacky Mom: Oh, Humble Mom, you should have seen the delicious food they served us last night. It was court cuisine. They had some stupid orphan as their maid, but besides that, it was perfect.
Humble Mom "Mom:" That's nice. It must be nice to have successful children. All I have is a dying son whose also useless, a son who flunked out of priest school and a daughter who I haven't seen in years. If only I could just run into Daughter when she comes back into town.
Tacky: How old are your children?
Mom: Oldest is 25, Younger Son is 23 and Daughter is 20. She was 15 at the time of the Jejudo tsunami.
Tacky: She was a nice girl. . .er, IS a nice girl, I mean.
Mom: She's the best. She wrote me another letter. Sometimes her handwriting looks just like her father's, and sometimes it looks like one of her brother's. If only I could see her again, everything would be perfect.
Meanwhile: Priest: OK, Father Older Son. If you don't mess up this baptism, we'll take you back into the seminary. This baby is an orphan. She's about a year old. Her guardian wants her baptized. She's in the ladies' room right now. Oh, here she comes.
Older: That's her? She looks like. . .hey, baby, you knocked my glasses off! I'm blind without my glasses!
Priest: Good Grief! I'll carry you on my back to the optometrists, but after that I suggest you look for a new career. Can't handle a baby! I never!
|
|
|
Post by myoko on Mar 29, 2012 19:48:10 GMT -5
LOL took me a while to realise that the letters are being written by the father and brother, I was on slow lol.
|
|
|
Post by poodlepal on Apr 3, 2012 18:37:08 GMT -5
Episode 8: Rich Boy: Oma, why do we have to get married in such a hurry? Evil CEO Mom: You know that we can't let any moss grow under our feet. Once you have a few dates with someone, you must get engaged and married within days. Anyway, you can't let such an angel as Witchy pass you by. Rich: Oma, it's just that--I don't know. She doesn't seem honest sometimes. Evil: I don't want to hear it. Now, go to your office and work for a few hours. The wedding starts at 7:00 PM. This gives you enough time to work a full day at the floor company and have several sojus at the lonely bar if you so wish. Just make sure they've worn off by the time the wedding starts. Rich: Yes, Oma.
At the office. Rich: Slave girl! You were supposed to be here at 8:00 and it's 8:06! Perky: Sorry, Assistant Manager to the CEO. I've been tired from my moonlighting job as an egg saleswoman at the steam room. Rich: What does an orphan like you need a job for? Surely they can't be charging you much to live in your one-room hovel with a cooking ring. Perky: Well, first of all, you're not paying me at all, I'm your slave. And second of all, I need a lot of money now because I've adopted an orphan. Rich: Really? Isn't that sweet. Not that same orphan that my fiance found on the street. Perky: Yes, the one and the same. Rich: You're a good woman, Perky. Wait a minute. I shouldn't be saying that. I'm about to get married to Witchy. Get back to work, Perky. Go bring these floor plans to the day care center. Perky: Oh, that's where my baby daughter is. Rich: Good. You can have half a day off. Pick her up and then you can take her to the wedding at 6:00. Perky: Thank you. You're a nice guy. Wait, I shouldn't be saying that. You're about to get married. Um thanks again. Rich: I need you and the orphan at the church to help clean it up. NOt that I'm inviting you to be nice or anything. Perky: Of course not. Well, gotta go!
At the church: Humble Mom: Oh, why do I have to put on my hanbok and go to this horrible wedding? None of my children have gotten married yet. Humble Dad: Well one's celibate, one's fatally ill and one's dead---under a deadline, I mean. YOunger son: Don't worry, I'll get a kidney, somehow. I won't die like Daughter. I mean, er, dye my hair like her. Here comes Tacky and her younger daughter Shallow. Shallow: Hi, hottie. You're looking good! YOunger: Thanks. I got a new catheter. I'm only retaining several pints of water instead of gallons. Shallow: I thought you looked different. Tacky: So, Humble. I bet you wish your daughter were getting married to a rich man. Shallow: Oma! That's very rude! Especially since her daughter passed aw--passed a writing test! Tacky: Quiet! Don't speak to an adult like that. Well, I have to go talk to my daughter, the bride. She's in the waiting area.
In the waiting area: Witchy: I told you, I don't know where she is. Gay Ex: If you don't tell me where our daughter is by the time I count to 19, I'm going to hang up this cell phone and call the KBI. Got it? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Witchy: I gotta go. My mother's coming. I'll speak to you soon. Gay Ex: I'm warning you. . .
Back in the pews: Humble: She burns me up. I can't stand that whole family. Let's get out of here. Humble Dad: Ya-bo, calm down. We should watch the wedding. Anyway, our eldest son is helping to perform the ceremony. H. Mom: No, I insist. Come on, let's go. He'll probably just mess it up, anyway. Dad: Oh, all right. Come on, Son. Let's do what your mother says. (They walk out the door, looking down to the ground in shame. Perky enters, looking up). Perky: Gee, that family looks a little familiar. I guess I want a family so bad. Oh well, now I have my orphan baby! Coochie coochie coo! I'll just slip in the back. It looks like the ceremony has started already. Hmm, that priest looks familiar too. I must have seen him at Orphan's christening the other day.
Older Son: If anyone knows just cause why this couple should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace.
Gay Ex: STOP! STOP THE WEDDING!
To be continued.
|
|
|
Post by door60 on Apr 3, 2012 19:09:09 GMT -5
Poodlepal, I can not tell you how I look forward to these episodes! You are so funny!!
|
|
|
Post by myoko on Apr 3, 2012 22:26:19 GMT -5
Me too door60 lol.
|
|
|
Post by poodlepal on Apr 4, 2012 11:40:10 GMT -5
Thanks a lot! I'm off this week, so I have plenty of time to write.
Episode 9: A Very Special Crossover Episode
Gay Ex: Stop! Stop the Wedding! Stop the Wedding! Rich Boy: Who's he? Witchy: Nobody. Just ignore him. Keep going, Father. Older Son: Well now, maybe I should see what he wants. Witchy: No! He's nobody. Honest. Don't you trust me? Rich Boy: Well. . . . Gay Ex: Whew! Am I out of breath. I ran here from the ferry station--you know the one that goes to Jejudo. All right, where is she? Witchy: I don't know what you're talking about. Gay Ex: Yes you do. Where's our daughter? Witchy: I don't have a daughter. Gay Ex: Yes you do. You were babysitting her when we went to Jejudo. Don't you remember? Evil CEo Mom: Witchy. What is going on here? Who is this man? Gay Ex: I'm her Ex-husband. (Everyone inhales) Witchy: He is not! He's just some crazy guy who's stalking me. He--he's in love with me, and he wants to marry me and, and. . .just ignore him. He's crazy. And stalking me. Rich: He's not doing a very good job, then. I've never seen him before. If he were stalking you, wouldn't I have run into him? Evil CEO: You. You leave my daughter-in-law alone. She's in love with my son. I see the look in your eyes as you look at him. Pure hatred. Gay Ex: Huh? Listen, I have nothing against your son. He's very, very good-looking and looks very nice in his designer tux. I would never think anything bad about a man like that. It's just that I want my daughter back. Evil: I'm sure Witchy doesn't have your daughter. Gay Ex: Uh-huh! Witchy: Uh-uh!
Life Partner comes running down the aisle. LP: What's wrong, GE? Why are you disrupting this wedding? Gay-Ex: I can't find our baby. LP: She's right there in the back with her babysitter. Gay Ex: Huh? Why didn't you just say so, Witchy? Witchy: Um, um Rich Boy: Witchy, who is that baby? Is that your baby? Or someone else's? Witchy: Um, um. Gay Ex: Well, anyway, I really don't care. As long as we can take her home with us. Good luck, Rich Boy. You got a good one. Have fun with her and her mother.
Perky: Oh, my baby. My baby orphan. I wonder what the commotion is about. Gay-Ex: There's my little girl! Come on, your Daddies are back. Thank you for watching her, Miss. Did my ex-wife pay you? I doubt it. Here, is 100 won enough for your troubles? Perky: No! You can't have her. Gay Ex: Excuse me? Perky: She may only be an orphan, but she's all I have in this world. You can't have her. Gay Ex: Now, wait a minute. You can't kidnap my child. Tell her, Witchy. Tell her this is our baby. Witchy: I've never seen them before in my life.
Scene: Piljae: OK, let me get this straight. You are claiming that you are the father of this baby and that this bride here is the mother, that you went to Jejudo, left the baby with your ex-wife and she gave her to this woman here, and told her she was an orphan.
Gay Ex: Correct. Anna: Oh, Boyfriend, how nice you take the statements at the police station. Almost as good as James-uh! Piljae: Thank you, Girlfriend Whom I Can Never Marry. Now, back to you, this contradicts the statement given by the bride, who claims she doesn't know you, found the baby on a doorstep and gave her to this woman, Ms. Perky, to bring to the orphanage, only she decided to raise her herself. Does this make any sense to anybody.
Anna: Maybe the baby came from a cabbage patch. My son came from a cabbage patch, and so did my twin grandchildren.
Piljae: Uh, yeah. Anna, why don't you. . .oh, here comes the Chief.
Chief: Piljae, how many times do I have to tell you not to bring your retarded girlfriend to work with you? We still haven't recovered from the time she wiped the knife clean in the evidence room.
Anna: Blood is so bad on a knife. It made Anna--I mean Dongbaek--so sad. I'm Dongbaek and my son Carl is Donghae but my true love will always be James and never his Korean name.
Chief: Whatever. Anyway, we got the polygraph results back, and one of you--bride or your supposed ex-husband--is a complete liar. Shall we guess which one, huh?
Split Screen of Gay-Ex smiling, and Witchy sneering.
|
|
|
Post by myoko on Apr 4, 2012 22:50:00 GMT -5
Omg the crossover characters idea is a brilliant one!
|
|
|
Post by door60 on Apr 6, 2012 11:11:55 GMT -5
Bravo, bravo!
|
|
|
Post by mara on Apr 8, 2012 17:11:00 GMT -5
I finally was able to read this through - an excellent job, poodlepal - I can just picture it all....thanks for your efforts!
|
|
|
Post by poodlepal on Apr 10, 2012 17:13:04 GMT -5
Thank you!
Episode 10 Scene: A barbecue restaurant. American songs are playing in the background. Gay Ex: Thanks again, Perky. I'm glad someone took care of our baby while we were in Jejudo. Perky: Please, can't I hold her just for ten more minutes? Oh, my precious baby. You alone know know the pain of being an orphan, even though you have two fathers and a mother. Life Partner: Gay, we'd better go. The plane will be leaving to the States in another hour and there might be traffic. Gay Ex: I guess we'd better go. Thanks again, Perky. We'll put pictures of her on Facebook. Perky: I will look at them daily. Even though I am a penniless orphan, I do have a smart phone with unlimited data. Gay and Life: Bye! Bye!
A sad song plays. Perky: Waiter! Can I have a soju? Or make it a whole bottle?
Meanwhile: Tacky: Please, please, don't blame my daughter. She has a single mom. She had no choice but to marry a gay man and bear his child in order to fool the INS.
CEO Mom: I don't like a thing about your daughter. She's useless. She's dead to me.
Tacky: Please! Please! I'm on my knees begging you.
Witchy Fiance: Oma! Stop it! I won't see you on your knees groveling to this woman. In America I'd be a hero, you know. I'd be on MSNBC as a hero in the fight against homophobia.
CEO: Oh yeah! Well, then don't let me stop you. Go! Go back to the States! In fact, here's enough money to buy your ticket. Don't let the door hit you on your fat butt on the way out!
Tacky: How dare you say my daughter has a fat butt!
CEO: I'm not talking about your daughter!
Tacky: Well! I never! Come on, Witchy. Enough of these people!
CEO: Get out! Get out of my house! Now! (After they leave) I will never forgive them for lying to me! Never! I forbid you from marrying her.
Rich: I never wanted to marry her. You foisted her on me.
CEO: Don't talk back to adults!
Rich: I gotta get out of here. I'm going to the soju bar.
At the soju bar: Bartender: Perky, please, let me call you a cab. Perky:No, I'll just drive home. I have nothing to live for anyway. Hiccup! Bartender: Uh-huh. Hey, I have a new keychain on my car keys! I bet it's not as nice as yours! Let me see it.
Perky: I don't have a car! Hahahahahah!
Bartender: Sir! Sir! Can you help me? This woman is drunk!
Rich:It's Perky! She's my slave--uh, personal assistant. And she is drunk, isn't she?
Bartender: Yes she is.
Rich: Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Two bottles of soju for us!
The next day: Perky: Oh no! Oh no! Where am I? I'm at a little hotel at the lonely hearts beach. How did I get here? I vaguely remember standing on a bridge looking at the water and crying. But who was with me? It must be that man next to me. Who is it? Sir, sir. . .Rich?
Rich: Perky? What are you doing here? (Split screen of their horrified faces)
To be continued
|
|
|
Post by poodlepal on Apr 12, 2012 10:04:33 GMT -5
In this episode, I will introduce their real names. My mother complained that they had to have names, so I found some on a Korean name website. I tried to get them to match their descriptions as best I could. Let me know which way you like better. PP
Episode 11 Younger Son: Thank you for taking me to the dialysis center, Ok-kyung. Older Son: No problem Yong-Son. Humble Mom: He probably wants to spy on all the hospital chaplains and see how much money they are making! Older (Ok-kyung): Oma! Anyway, I almost performed a wedding the other day. It's just a shame that the bride's ex-husband showed up with their daughter. Humble Mom: Ha! Ha! Oh, I wish I had been there! Anyway, I'm gonna go to the green tea machine. Anybody want anything? Ok-kyung: No thank you. Oma, just out of curiousity, have you ever seen our sister since she was swept away by the Jejudo tsunami? Mom: No. But I do get text messages from her occasionally. Oddly enough, she has the same phone number as Dad. Ok-kyung: That's because we're on the family plan, I guess. Well, you'd better go get your tea before the vending machine guy comes to service it. You know how long that takes. Mom: You're right. I'll be back in a couple of minutes.
Yong-Son: Older brother, what's the matter with you? You know that our sister is dead. Ok-kyung: Maybe. But they never did find her body. And I found somebody who looks just like her. She had long straight black hair, parted down the middle, smooth skin that was neither too light or too dark, and beautiful almond-shaped eyes. Yong-Son: Hmm. That does sound like her. But there could be another woman in Korea with long black hair, medium skin and almond shaped eyes. Ok-kyung: Perhaps. But she had the essence of our sister. She moved like her. But after the uproar in the church, she took off to the police station with the orphan she had been watching, who wasn't really an orphan. So I never got to speak to her. Yong-Son: Gee, I hope it is her. She is a perfect match for my kidney, the only person in all of Korea. That would be great if I could go to the bathroom like everyone else.
Doctor: Code Blue! Code Blue! A woman has fainted and is being carried in on her husband's shoulders. She is in complete kidney failure from the shock.
Evil CEO: Oh! Oh! Henpecked Hubby (Hyun-Shik): Hang on, yabo. We're at the hospital now. Boy, does my back hurt! Doctor: What caused this terrible shock? Hyun-Shik: Our son never came home last night, and it's possible he spent the night with a lower class person! Doctor: Oh my! We'll clear this poor person off of this bed and give you the dialysis machine Asap! Yong-Son: Hey! Doctor: Sorry, kid. Mrs. Dae want the machine, and she's descended from Dae Jo Young. She's royalty, and she's the CEO of the floor company. You're just a lowly boy with kidney disease. Yong Son: What a life. I hope they find my sister soon, so they can do the transplant. I wonder what she's up to, if she's alive. . .
Meanwhile, on the road from the lonely beach: Rich Wealthy Boy (Wah-Bo): We must never, ever mention this to anybody. Nobody can ever know what we did. Young, Perky Orphan: (Jun-park): What did we do exactly? Wah-Bo: I don't know. I think we were too drunk to stare into each other's eyes. Do you feel pregnant? Jun-park: I don't think so. How can you tell? Wah-Bo: I think you wait 9 months and see if a baby arrives. Jun-park: Oh. That's a long time. Oh well. If I am, it will be God's will, since I had to give that orphan back to her fathers. Speaking of which, you really didn't know that Witchy Fiance, that young liar Yung-Li, had a baby? Jun-park: No, she completely lied straight to my face. Thank god I found out before the wedding really took place. Gee, I wonder what she's doing right now? Probably fleecing someone out of their life savings.
Meanwhile: Tacky Mom (Tae-seon): Get out of bed, Yung-Li. Move on with your life. Find another gay guy to marry if you need to, but forget the vice general manager.
Yung-Li: I'll never forget him. Never! And you know whose fault this is? That young, perky orphan, Jung-park. I'll never forgive her. For the next six months, I will make her life a living hell, following her around, bothering her, and destroying her. I won't forgive her
Ominous music. To be continued.
|
|
|
Post by Linda on Apr 12, 2012 22:45:26 GMT -5
I like the original way better, the descriptive names really make you understand and picture the characters. When you write up your next drama, yes I'm already begging you to do another when you finish this one ha ha, you could maybe give names then.
|
|
|
Post by poodlepal on Apr 13, 2012 9:57:55 GMT -5
OK, thanks for the feedback. Maybe I'll have the characters refer to each other by their names (since they know them) but use the nicknames on the "scripts." The problem is, of course, that we are not familiar with any of those names. I'm still not sure of the names of the characters on Dear My Sister, except for Bokhui and her brother, and I can never remember them after the shows are over. I think if they had Western names, that wouldn't be a problem, for me, anyway.
Crossover episode with Bokhui (since I know her name!) Episode 12
Bokhui: Come on in--Kim Jun-park?
Perky: Yes, how do you do?
Bokhui: How may I help you?
Perky: I've been very depressed the last couple of days, since my orphan was taken away from me and returned to the states by the fathers I didn't know she had. I'm an orphan myself, and I really loved having another orphan to take care of. So I decided to come here, to the Korean Orphan Counseling Center to speak to someone.
Bokhui: Well, you've come to the right place, Ms. Kim. Please take a seat and fill out our questionnaire. I myself was an orphan.
Perky: Really? You look too old to be an orphan. Are you 40?
Bokhui: I was 12 in 1966, making me 58 years old today. But you know that Koreans age very well. Now, onto our questionnaire. How horrible were your parents or stepparents when they were still alive?
Perky: I don't remember. I've had amnesia since the Jejudo tsunami.
Bokhui: Hmm. How long were you roaming on your own after said negligent parents abandoned you?
Perky: A day or two, I think. Then I was sent to the teenage orphanage, where I lived for three years until I turned 18. I went to the States on a steamer ship as a castaway briefly, but now I'm back in Korea.
Bokhui: Was your beloved sibling ripped from your hands and sent to an orphanage? Did you have to pretend your mother was your aunt? Were you made a slave at any point? Locked in a room? Denied the right to an education? Harrassed by an evil grandmother? Told your own mother could love only your step sisters and not you?
Perky: Well, no, not really. I don't have any siblings, step-siblings, aunts or grandparents. I wish I did
Bokhui: No, you don't. Believe me, you're lucky. Well, I think you have a very mild case of Korean Orphan Syndrome. The cure is obvious. You need to get a job in a textile factory.
Perky: Why?
Bokhui: It's the cure for everything.
Perky: But I'm a flooring designer. I designed a floor that's comfortable to sleep on for orphans. I'm currently working at a floor company as a slave, actually.
Bokhui: That's interesting. Oh, you are a slave! You didn't mention that before. Well, then you have to take a more serious step. You have to fall in love.
Perky: In love?
Bokhui: In love. Once you fall in love, you can get married and have a baby to replace the one you borrowed for a few days. Then, if you and your husband both die, and the baby can be an orphan and sleep on your comfortable floor.
Perky: Um, thank you. I guess. I don't know who I would fall in love with, though. . .
Meanwhile: CEO Mom: Get up! Rich Boy: Oma, It's only 5:00 AM CEO Mom: So, you think you can sleep in after disappearing all night? My kidneys failed because of you. I fainted and had a high fever. Anyway, it's the first day of the floor design contest. You have to get to work early to write the directions. Rich Boy: Oma! CEO Mom: I want you to make sure a beautiful woman wins. They sell more floors. Rich Boy: This isn't Korean Idol, Oma! CEO: I don't care. And whomever wins, you will marry, provided she's from a good home, hasn't married a homosexual to fleece the INS or bore a baby that she completely ignores. Rich Boy: Ok, Oma! OK. Hmm, I wonder who that will be, since it's mostly men who want to become floor designers.
Meanwhile, a few hours later Witchy: Ah-ha! It says here on the website that the Floor Design Competition has begun. Shallow Sis: So? Witchy: I will win that contest! And I will beat that evil Perky Orphan Jun-Park and make her go back to the States! And I will win back Rich Boy Wah-Bo's love!
To be continued.
|
|
|
Post by latina on Apr 13, 2012 14:19:27 GMT -5
I haven't had the time to check this drama, and I did it today, I have laughed so hard...
Thanks poodlepal, you're so creative!
|
|